Palwal is a small district in Haryana with a big geographical importance. It is located at 60km from Delhi towards south,30Km from Faridabad,50 Km from Gurgaon,90 km from Mathura and it is entirely located on NH2,well connected via Road and Rail.
Here are some extracts from the region which will bring out true humor and make you laugh out loud.
" Bol Bansi Vale ki Jai....Deh Pola"- is the first sentence you'll hear if you dare try to talk to a Palwal local boy.. Due courtesy goes to its being nearer to the Brij Bhoomi(Mathura) and Lord Krishna is the deity the local people worship. Hence the name 'Bansi Wale' which is the synonym of Krishna.
Next if you travel in the EMU from Palwal to New Delhi, and if you dare ask for the seat. The reply would be: "Mamma, khado reh, banao toye TT"....
Every third person in Palwal is the relative of the Local sitting MLA. When ever a police man catches some one notorious, the first thing he utters is:"Ruk ja, chacha ae phone karan de" and the universal chacha is Hon'ble MLA saheb.
'Un' is the most common word they attach as a suffix with every other word. Ex:
Latta+un = Lattun
Kapada+un = Kapdun
Bartan+un = Bartanan
Hotel+un = Hotelun
Bus+un = Busun
etc...
Hindi 'Yeh' becomes 'Yako'
Hindi 'Veh' becomes 'Vako'
Patwari is known as the highest post ever acquired by the villager.
'Safari'-The car becomes 'Supari'.
Dowry becomes fashion and in the local caupal they brag:"Phoola ki bahoria, chore ke liye Sakoda, Dewar ke liye Pulsur aur Phoola ke khatir Tractor layi Se". (Now can you imagine the entire cost of marriage?)
I don't know becomes "Moa na patau". "Mahare college mein ek bahut maluk chori padhe hai"-(Come on,translate it in Hindi....)
An Eighth class boy writes I love you for a girl in blood....(Where did he get this info from.)
The town is full of Beauty Parlors, Hair Cutting Salons, Public Schools, Computer Centers and Nursing Homes.
Famous Names of Beauty Parlors: She, Vina, Pearl, Kusum, and the people represent them as She Wali, Vina Wali, Pearl Wali etc.
Famous Names of Hair Cutting Salons: Sitara, Paris, Chandani, Chaman etc.
All the Hair cutting salons have there small kids working, as soon as you enter he'll say "saheb bahut phunsi ho rahi hai,bleech kar du". Come on....have a chill...
There are a lot of movie talkies and they all are registered warehouses of 'X' rated films...You'll find the common posters of them hanging everywhere....
Some of them are:
1) Jungle ki Hasina,
2) Shadi Basanti ki, Honeymoon Gabbar Ka
3) Katil Jawani
4) Padoson Ke Jawle
etc.
"Sexy Taxi Mili sadak Pe, Pata Mila Na Basti Ka,
Sari Raat Haath Na Aayi, Utar Gaya Maza Masti Ka"
The School names are also fascinating.
They write DPS for Dharam Public School. G Convent for Geeta Convent (Hindi Angreji Sangam). MVN for Madav Vidyalaya.
DPS,G D Goenka...all big name schools have come up...
Their fees : 1 lack admission fee and 3000 per month for a nursery class kid. Even there is a waiting list for the same.
A scene at the school:
School Receptionist(to the old man who have came to get his grandchild admitted): "Sir, Pls fill this form, in order to get your child admitted"
(and she handed over the 2 page form)
Tau(to the lady):"Arree Madam, yo form hi bharna aata to main teri jagah na hota, nue bata pise kitne dene hai"
Every child of the household is now studying Engineering. Getting admitted to BA is a crime. BCA is a hot favorite amongst girls.
(the one who scores 33% in SSC board is a dude in Engineering college with Tere Naam style hairs swinging over the forhead)
Till the Year 2007 there were no technical college in the town. Today it has 15 Engineering colleges.4 Management colleges and 2 Dental colleges coming up. Imaging the pace of work.
The names are: Satya Collge of Engg., Mohan Sharma College of Engg., Ramajunam College of Engg., etc.(even i am planning to register a college name on my name.....isn't it look cool).
My personal conversation with an Engineer of Palwal.
Me:"Yaar, tune ECE kyun liya, CSE aaj kal hot hai."
He:"Yaar, Jo baap ne bola wo le liya, mujhe bada pata hai"
Me:"Kyun, Enterence nahi diya tha kya"
He:"Pagal hai kya, Director baap ka chela hai"
Me:"BE ke baad naukari karega kya"
He:"Uska bhi jugad baap karwa dega"
(Good luck to all the IITians.....Palwal Engineers are coming)...
Scene at the Computer Center:
Name of the Institution - Skyhigh Computer Education
Tutor's Qualification - 10th from Bhiwani Board,
English Speaking course from Dadi Ahiyala English Speaking center,Palwal
All the male candidates come to see Madam ji speaking English(Khata khat...Fata Fat)
If a girl speaks with a boy, then she becomes 'Cheli' of Him. Eventually he becomes 'Shaligram' for the other boys.
This is the area where markets names are Camp and Sheher. (I still wonder why?)
This is the area where owing a Mobile shop means 'Apna Business hai Mobile ka'.....Tin Tin Tidying....
A shop keeper in Camp owes a Ladies Glossary shop and he is an Engineer from Hissar. (Good work dude.....the future is here)
Marriages are only meant to be held at the biggest open banquet hall even though the guests list are 250.
The household names are Chauhan,Dalal,Dagar,Baisla.
A Rohil Bal styled jeans which is peculiarly cut at knee's is termed as 'Fate Hue Latta'
If a girl is standing at the Palwal Bus stand alone, two guys will come from nowhere and ask "Kahan ku jayegi Madam".
The Maxi cab running between Palwal Sohna and Palwal Bahhabgarh will say they are going Gurgoan and Faridabad and eventually put you at Sohna and Ballabhgarh. If asked they'll say:"Aaj permit no hai saheb".
The one liner written on the back of Tata 407 is "Ya to nue ie Chaalegi".All the maxi cabs have the permit to pack them with 15 passengers-the symetry is Front Row: 4+1(Driver), Middle Row: 5 and 6 people at the back(diggy), often the diggy have a small moodha to accommodate a child. The best part is they have a tape recorder which plays thunder songs like "Hat Ja tau pachche ne","Patla Duppatta tera muh deekhe" etc.
Some of the Haryanavi Classics like: Dhakad Chora, Badla Jat ka, Haryanavi Sholey, Chaudhary ki mooch etc.
Palwal district court has over 2000 advocates and it very much looks like a Home Guard Akhada with people wearing Black Gowns.(Palwal wale called it as Kala Choga). Its due courtesy goes to nearby Mathura and Agra Colleges.If you are worth nothing, you can be a lawyer in Palwal court. These people don't know how to write an application but they are all big time advocates.
'Love Marriage' is still a taboo and if someone does the same,it becomes the talk of the town overnight. The so called 'Samaj Ke Thekedar' calls it a sin till the time they find that there son\daughter has eloped with the inter caste girl\boy.(This makes me give a sheepish smile as at these testing times there principles take a U turn.)
At the Annual Trade Fair held at Pragati Maidan Delhi-A sign board reads-"Kutton aur Palwal walo se savdhan".
Going a little ahead-the signature word is 'Andy'. 'Ghana Andy kona pakke' (Can somebody guess what does it mean?)
'Totta' in Delhi becomes 'Gandashe' in Haryana.
It is the land of hulligons and law offenders.
This drastic change in behavior comes from the selling of agriculture land at huge prices. 1 acre goes from 1 crore to 3 crores. Scorpio is a car which is a tractor for them.They load Bersum(fodder) into it. The people are out of their own and don't know where to spend such an amount.
Happy Visiting Palwal......
Disclaimer - The views are personal. The thoughts expressed are in lighter vein and if anybody takes it seriously, he is doing it at his own peril. The author will not be responsible for any of the ill feelings you develop about the place and any legal action taken. If the data used belongs to any body, then it is purely coincidental and the author's intention is not to hurt any body and harm the authenticity of the place.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को
A masterpiece by Shri Gopal Das Neeraj Ji.
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
खुबसूरत है हर फूल मगर उसका
कब मोल चुका पाया है सब मधुबन ?
जब प्रेम समर्पण देता है अपना
सौन्दर्य तभी करता है निज दर्शन,
अर्पण है सृजन और रुपान्तर भी,
पर अन्तर-योग बिना है नश्वर भी,
सच कहता हूँ हर मूरत बोल उठे
दो अश्रु हृदय दे दे यदि पाहन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को।
सौ बार भरी गगरी आ बादल ने
प्यासी पुतली यह किन्तु रही प्यासी,
साँसों ने जाने कैसा शाप दिया
बन गई देह हर मरघट की दासी
दुख ही दुख है जग में सब ओर कहीं,
लेकिन सुख का यह कहना झूठ नहीं,
‘सब की सब सृष्टि खिलौना बन जाए
यदि नज़र उमर की लगे न बचपन को !’
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
रुक पाई अपनी हँसी न कलियों से
दुनिया ने लूट इसी से ली बगिया
इस कारण कालिख मुख पर मली गई
बदशक्ल रात पर मरने लगा दिया,
तुम उसे गालियाँ दो, कुछ बात नहीं
लेकिन शायद तुमको यह ज्ञात नहीं,
आदमी देवता ही होता जग में
भावुकता अगर न मिलती यौवन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए !
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
है धूल बहुत नाचीज़ मगर मिटकर
दे गई रूप अनगिन प्रतिमाओं को,
पहरेदारी में किसी घोंसले की
तिनके ने रक्खा क़ैद हवाओं को,
निर्धन दुर्बल है, सबका नौकर है
और धन हर मठ-मन्दिर का ईश्वर है
लेकिन मुश्किलें बहुत कम हो जाएँ
यदि कंचन कहे ग़रीब न रजकण को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
चन्दन की छाँव रहे विषधर लेकिन
मर पाया ज़हर न उनके बोलों का,
पर पिया पिया का राग पपीहे को
आ सिखला गया वियोग बादलों को,
चाहे सागर को कंगन पहनाओ-
चाहे नदियों की चूनर सिलवाओ,
उतरेगा स्वर्ग तभी इस धरती पर
जब प्रेम लिखेगा ख़त परिवर्तन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
खुबसूरत है हर फूल मगर उसका
कब मोल चुका पाया है सब मधुबन ?
जब प्रेम समर्पण देता है अपना
सौन्दर्य तभी करता है निज दर्शन,
अर्पण है सृजन और रुपान्तर भी,
पर अन्तर-योग बिना है नश्वर भी,
सच कहता हूँ हर मूरत बोल उठे
दो अश्रु हृदय दे दे यदि पाहन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को।
सौ बार भरी गगरी आ बादल ने
प्यासी पुतली यह किन्तु रही प्यासी,
साँसों ने जाने कैसा शाप दिया
बन गई देह हर मरघट की दासी
दुख ही दुख है जग में सब ओर कहीं,
लेकिन सुख का यह कहना झूठ नहीं,
‘सब की सब सृष्टि खिलौना बन जाए
यदि नज़र उमर की लगे न बचपन को !’
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
रुक पाई अपनी हँसी न कलियों से
दुनिया ने लूट इसी से ली बगिया
इस कारण कालिख मुख पर मली गई
बदशक्ल रात पर मरने लगा दिया,
तुम उसे गालियाँ दो, कुछ बात नहीं
लेकिन शायद तुमको यह ज्ञात नहीं,
आदमी देवता ही होता जग में
भावुकता अगर न मिलती यौवन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए !
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
है धूल बहुत नाचीज़ मगर मिटकर
दे गई रूप अनगिन प्रतिमाओं को,
पहरेदारी में किसी घोंसले की
तिनके ने रक्खा क़ैद हवाओं को,
निर्धन दुर्बल है, सबका नौकर है
और धन हर मठ-मन्दिर का ईश्वर है
लेकिन मुश्किलें बहुत कम हो जाएँ
यदि कंचन कहे ग़रीब न रजकण को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
चन्दन की छाँव रहे विषधर लेकिन
मर पाया ज़हर न उनके बोलों का,
पर पिया पिया का राग पपीहे को
आ सिखला गया वियोग बादलों को,
चाहे सागर को कंगन पहनाओ-
चाहे नदियों की चूनर सिलवाओ,
उतरेगा स्वर्ग तभी इस धरती पर
जब प्रेम लिखेगा ख़त परिवर्तन को !
सुन्दरता ख़ुद से ही शरमा जाए
यदि वाणी भी मिल जाए दर्पण को !
Monday, August 17, 2009
Camouflage of feelings
We all have come across some special people in our lives to whom we have developed some special relationship and bonding. Although we had that extra punch of feelings for them at a moment of time, we pretend as if its nothing. The same has been seen with the ones who are no more a part of our lives i.e the broken relationships or Ex.
To these people with whom we don't have any 'SPECIAL' bondage now, we pretend as if we don't care, but interestingly we remain concerned still about how there life functions and what do they do.
If asked about them we used to get away with the topic or ignore as if we don't know what is being talked about...
Here are some interesting true stories of the people I know - Their deeds and excuses.
Episode 1:
There is this boy in my college who is a tomboy kinda person and his persona became so polished by some divine powers for the period of 4 years that during his tenure in the college he had a crush in every year and luckily every girl knew about his past affairs but still wishes to be in his company.
(I knew him a little close), he was kind of a boy who had no affairs till he passed his SSE. But as soon as he stepped into college, his stars changed and he got a girl in mere 6 days.
The time passes and they break off-reason some cruel fights between the two and second reason is far too romanticized. He stepped into second year and a new batch arrives. This time he has a jackpot, As said-"A Bird in hand is better then two in bush", he got all three...
(see how the topic unfolds)
When he was having his time with the new ones he still remains interested in her presence\absence in the class, how many marks she got. Who does she come with in the college. Her behavior with him etc. The unique way in which he asks about her well being is LOLs.
Then due to some lack of experience and fed up, things messed up and his a,b,c got to know that he is copy pasting the same lines to all of them.
The irony of the matter remains same and next year, a girl had a crush on him.(Ab dil nahi toodna chahiye kisika). Tan Tada Tai......
Now when they break up, how do they manage....
Scene 1: Being a senior, he peeks into her class and got to know, is she present?
Scene 2: Get late to the mess for breakfast and check her clothes colour and wear the same coloured shirt. (Arree yaar its a coincidence.)
Scene 3: If a boy of her class manages to get the advantage of the situation, Raat ko daru pee ke uski class lena .....yaar wo sirf meri hai
Scene 4: Full information about her from her classmates.
Scene 5: Manages to get the neighboring seat in the Cab while going home.
Scene 6: Sing sad songs-Ab tere bin Jee Lenge Hum types when ever she comes across.( Pathetic).
Scene 7: Unshaven look.
Scene 8: He likes if some one teases him with her name, but pretends for not doing it. Aayeeeee haiii
Scene 8: Daaroo pee ke confession karna ki - she is not of my type(arree bhai then why is this shoor sharaba).
Its now 2 years that they have barely spoken a word and seen each other.
He still manages to peek into her orkut profile.(I don't understand why the hell he does so). Although he is unable to see any pic or scrap-He still finds her well being.
He pastes her name on his profile in his own peculiar way.
He finds her name in the recent visitor list...(ab bhi nahi sudhrenge)
He still finds a friend request from a fake profile of hers.
She asks about him from his friends.
Episode 2:
A story of a couple (Both of them are my friends)
They are not together now, but used to be sometimes ago. They both seldom have a conversation over phone.
Now he has someone else in his life and she has some one else.
Extract of the conversation:
B: Hi...
G: Hi...Badi lambi umar hai tumhari,main abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi...
B: Achcha...lo fir maine phone kar liya.Ise kehte hai......(Pause)
G: Kya..
B: Kuch nahi (wants to say Dil ka connection)...
G: Bolo Na
B: chalo chodo, ab in baaton ka kya faida....aur batao, How's ur Mr....(name undisclosed)
G: Agar tumhe ye hi baatein karni hai to main phone rakhun kya, Mujhse uski baatein mat kiya karo....
(See the Camouflage of feelings)
B: Ok aur batao how are you,how's life?
G: Theek hai,main abhi khali baithe baithe poorane dino ko hi yaar kar rahi thi,kitna mast the na.....ab to rona aa jata hai kabhi kabhi...
B: Yaar sach mein tum bahut achchi thi...(Mauke pe Chouka)
G: Rehne do tum, tabhi to kadr nahi ki meri....
B: Maine ya tumne....
G: Tumne....
B: tumne, main to ab bhi....(pause)
G: Kya ab bhi...
B: Kuch nahi, chodo.... Chalo baad mein baat karta hu....
G: Ok....Waise ek baat kahu....(wanted to say i still feel the same for you)
B: Bolo
G: Chalo chodo,fir kabhi..bye...
(tooooooooooo tooooooooooo tooooooo)
What did you get from it......Pls answer
Oh God Pls help them.....
Episode 3:
Here is an interesting story I came across sometimes back. There is a boy in his early 20s. He was in love with a girl he find during a road journey(towards Delhi)..Sounds like a movie story but its true... They both get in love(as they say) and wanted to marry....(I wonder the same in my every journey and wants it to happens to me some day...he he)
Now her parents turns orthodox all of a sudden and they find a boy for her and she gets married to someone else.. They both compromised and parted ways....(See how things changed overnight)
Sali, dhookha de gayi.....(A uniform answer)..
Still he manages to find her well being by some means(undisclosed)..
(I still wonder why?)
If you are still interested please say it loud Man. Why the hell you want it to hide.
(what will he get by doing so?.......can somebody pls explain me)
The stories are endless.....
I'll come up with them as and when I'll find time again....Till then you can enjoy the Camouflage character we all have.
Disclaimer - The views are personal. The thoughts expressed are in lighter vein and if anybody takes it seriously, he is doing it at his own peril. The author will not be responsible for any of the harrasment cases or Disproportionate Assets slapped against any one if he credulously believes what is recommended in the article as gospel truth.
To these people with whom we don't have any 'SPECIAL' bondage now, we pretend as if we don't care, but interestingly we remain concerned still about how there life functions and what do they do.
If asked about them we used to get away with the topic or ignore as if we don't know what is being talked about...
Here are some interesting true stories of the people I know - Their deeds and excuses.
Episode 1:
There is this boy in my college who is a tomboy kinda person and his persona became so polished by some divine powers for the period of 4 years that during his tenure in the college he had a crush in every year and luckily every girl knew about his past affairs but still wishes to be in his company.
(I knew him a little close), he was kind of a boy who had no affairs till he passed his SSE. But as soon as he stepped into college, his stars changed and he got a girl in mere 6 days.
The time passes and they break off-reason some cruel fights between the two and second reason is far too romanticized. He stepped into second year and a new batch arrives. This time he has a jackpot, As said-"A Bird in hand is better then two in bush", he got all three...
(see how the topic unfolds)
When he was having his time with the new ones he still remains interested in her presence\absence in the class, how many marks she got. Who does she come with in the college. Her behavior with him etc. The unique way in which he asks about her well being is LOLs.
Then due to some lack of experience and fed up, things messed up and his a,b,c got to know that he is copy pasting the same lines to all of them.
The irony of the matter remains same and next year, a girl had a crush on him.(Ab dil nahi toodna chahiye kisika). Tan Tada Tai......
Now when they break up, how do they manage....
Scene 1: Being a senior, he peeks into her class and got to know, is she present?
Scene 2: Get late to the mess for breakfast and check her clothes colour and wear the same coloured shirt. (Arree yaar its a coincidence.)
Scene 3: If a boy of her class manages to get the advantage of the situation, Raat ko daru pee ke uski class lena .....yaar wo sirf meri hai
Scene 4: Full information about her from her classmates.
Scene 5: Manages to get the neighboring seat in the Cab while going home.
Scene 6: Sing sad songs-Ab tere bin Jee Lenge Hum types when ever she comes across.( Pathetic).
Scene 7: Unshaven look.
Scene 8: He likes if some one teases him with her name, but pretends for not doing it. Aayeeeee haiii
Scene 8: Daaroo pee ke confession karna ki - she is not of my type(arree bhai then why is this shoor sharaba).
Its now 2 years that they have barely spoken a word and seen each other.
He still manages to peek into her orkut profile.(I don't understand why the hell he does so). Although he is unable to see any pic or scrap-He still finds her well being.
He pastes her name on his profile in his own peculiar way.
He finds her name in the recent visitor list...(ab bhi nahi sudhrenge)
He still finds a friend request from a fake profile of hers.
She asks about him from his friends.
Episode 2:
A story of a couple (Both of them are my friends)
They are not together now, but used to be sometimes ago. They both seldom have a conversation over phone.
Now he has someone else in his life and she has some one else.
Extract of the conversation:
B: Hi...
G: Hi...Badi lambi umar hai tumhari,main abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi...
B: Achcha...lo fir maine phone kar liya.Ise kehte hai......(Pause)
G: Kya..
B: Kuch nahi (wants to say Dil ka connection)...
G: Bolo Na
B: chalo chodo, ab in baaton ka kya faida....aur batao, How's ur Mr....(name undisclosed)
G: Agar tumhe ye hi baatein karni hai to main phone rakhun kya, Mujhse uski baatein mat kiya karo....
(See the Camouflage of feelings)
B: Ok aur batao how are you,how's life?
G: Theek hai,main abhi khali baithe baithe poorane dino ko hi yaar kar rahi thi,kitna mast the na.....ab to rona aa jata hai kabhi kabhi...
B: Yaar sach mein tum bahut achchi thi...(Mauke pe Chouka)
G: Rehne do tum, tabhi to kadr nahi ki meri....
B: Maine ya tumne....
G: Tumne....
B: tumne, main to ab bhi....(pause)
G: Kya ab bhi...
B: Kuch nahi, chodo.... Chalo baad mein baat karta hu....
G: Ok....Waise ek baat kahu....(wanted to say i still feel the same for you)
B: Bolo
G: Chalo chodo,fir kabhi..bye...
(tooooooooooo tooooooooooo tooooooo)
What did you get from it......Pls answer
Oh God Pls help them.....
Episode 3:
Here is an interesting story I came across sometimes back. There is a boy in his early 20s. He was in love with a girl he find during a road journey(towards Delhi)..Sounds like a movie story but its true... They both get in love(as they say) and wanted to marry....(I wonder the same in my every journey and wants it to happens to me some day...he he)
Now her parents turns orthodox all of a sudden and they find a boy for her and she gets married to someone else.. They both compromised and parted ways....(See how things changed overnight)
Sali, dhookha de gayi.....(A uniform answer)..
Still he manages to find her well being by some means(undisclosed)..
(I still wonder why?)
If you are still interested please say it loud Man. Why the hell you want it to hide.
(what will he get by doing so?.......can somebody pls explain me)
The stories are endless.....
I'll come up with them as and when I'll find time again....Till then you can enjoy the Camouflage character we all have.
Disclaimer - The views are personal. The thoughts expressed are in lighter vein and if anybody takes it seriously, he is doing it at his own peril. The author will not be responsible for any of the harrasment cases or Disproportionate Assets slapped against any one if he credulously believes what is recommended in the article as gospel truth.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Inside IT
I'll take you a little back in 2007,
(The senario is from a remote college where the campus placements are not common and students have to manage the jobs by themselves )
It was the time when we were about to complete our BE and were filled with enthusiasm. We had the fire in our belly. All we used to fancy was to join the leading MNCs of India. Infosys, TCS, L&T Infotech, Satyam, Tech Mahindra, HCL, IBM were the top names we knew. Although we were from ECE, IT was the first choice. It was the time when we used to mug up those pioneer books by R S Agrawal and Shakuntala Devi. The C programs and their outputs used to be lingo.
(The senario is from a remote college where the campus placements are not common and students have to manage the jobs by themselves )
The pet communication example:
Varun (to Virender): Yaar, pls give me the notes of Mobile.
Virender : (no Answer)
Varun(again): Yaar Virender, pls give me the notes of Mobile.
Virender : (still ananswered)
Varun: Virender, for(i=0;i=100;i++)
{
pls give me the notes of Mobile.
}
Then we were all done with our BE exams and waiting for a campus call despirately.
I wonder why can't some government education officer visit a place like this.
The selection procedure was divided into three rounds:
1)Written Exam sub divided into
a) Quants
b) Apti
c) English
2)GD
3)Interview sub divided into
a)HR
b)Technical
(I am saying this b'cos the job they'll all do is no where close to the selection criterion)
The wriiten exam was done and 3000 were shown the way to door. The GD became a session of parliament where English was the secondary language used and that too was too jumbled that understanding it was another screning criterion.
Now only the 650 were allowed for interview. The technical part consists of all the things except IT. HR was as if the HR manager is himself interested in something else and he's taking out his frustration.
Finally the results were announced and my name was not called in the selected 250, ironically my name was there in the list of selected candidates which was pasted on the notice board half an hour later.
I was so thrilled and consider myself a blessed soul.
The joining date has been fixed and we all were called to Mumbai. It was as if we have done our part for the welfare of the family and now we are the top 1% of the crowd. The orkut account was edited and the company logos were pasted, communities were created. The tagline says the name of the company, and everyone was into fancy making and shopping.
The planning was to save about 50% of the salary and in 2 years we will be Santro wale. It was day dreaming all around. We were called for the 3 days session in the state college and unusual stuff was poured over us, it was a classroom session of 12 hours and alien C\C++\RDBMS\DBMS etc. was forced to study. There were students from ECE,Mechanical,BT,EC&I,Electrical and it was pain for all. We thought that we'll be doing some great work and will be responsible for a large complex task. The company anthem was played and all feel proud to have joined the organization.
Finally truck loads of books were given and test schedule were imposed upon us and all of us are asked to come to Mumbai.
Now we are in Mumbai as if we are in The New York of India. There were people from around the corners of India and the labour accomodation is provided to the engineers. Some truth began to reveal. The classes were formed with people of distinct background and everyone has to pass atleast 16 exams in 60 days with 60% aggregate. The new word learned was ATKT.
It was a little of learning and a lot of cursing. It seems as if the tutor is insane about the students' potential and is only interested in meeting the syllabus deadlines. This gives a clear picture of what happens inside the industry. Many students were failed in meeting the exam cutoff and they were out of the business. After 90 days of regirous training the posting list is out and all of us have been allocated different BUs and offices. All were now full of energy and charm to work in the live projects and go onsites.
Now, the time changes-a twist in the story, a new concept is introduced which is called, on bench. Some new words are also coined for the same, buffer resource, shadow resource, internal projects, ilabs, test people etc. Now comes the truth, all who were trained on DOTNET,JAVA,C++,RDBMS,MAINFRAME,ABAP etc are never given the project of there Discipline.
The excuses given are:
a) Projects are in pipeline(Iraq pipeline...that is too long to complete),
b) You should be multitasking.
c) Search for freewares.
d) Whats new in the technology.
e) Read more
The onsite opportunity is a camouflage. The project managers seek interest in exploiting you. The are not at all keen on the wellfare of the resources.
Rescission is a very fine excuse which fits in as the answer for any complain. You ask for something the answer is rescission. Till then the employees are asked to sit on bench, do nothing substantial. All they want is their employees should only be theirs forever. What the employees do is gulp liters of free coffee and a chain of forwarded mails. Now as the time passess,its been a year and many of us got confirmed. The annual increment us not done.The reason is-rescission.
The internal system is so sound proof that if you dare knock your manager's door,he'll guide you to SM, the SM to DM, DM to BU Head, BU Head to HR, HR knocks you. Now after 15 months of successful benching, we tend to give up...
We all find ourselves as a victim of the movie Damini
"Mili Bhi to bus bench,bench pe bench,bench pe bench,
Aur ab to main bhi ho gaya hu ek bench"
At last its not only me or we, it is the case of the entire batch of 900 students selected with me. Not only in my company, but every other company I find my friends in. The senario is same.
After all this what I learnt is, do hi cheezo mein paisa hai-:
"Ya to Design mein ya Resign mein"
Disclaimer - The views are personal. The thoughts expressed are in lighter vein and if anybody takes it seriously, he is doing it at his own peril. The author will not be responsible for any of the mispractices or Disproportionate Assets slapped against any employee if he credulously believes what is recommended in the article as gospel truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)